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The hard way

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  • The hard way

    A guy got roped into visiting a summer camp belonging to a woman his wife worked with, and although he liked his wife’s coworker, he had met the couple before and couldn’t stand her husband, a loud mouth braggart that always claimed he did everything himself and always took pains to claim he did everything himself the hard way, and his perfectionist personality demanded excellence.

    They arrive at the camp, and as he expected everything looked carefully laid out and perfect. The couple greets them at the front door, and the husband insists on taking them on a tour.

    The husband starts out saying “Yup, the driveway you drove up on is old English paving stones, imported of course, and I laid every stone myself. It’s was hard to do, but I did it the best way possible!

    ”You like the log cabin? It’s 5,000 square feet and I fell every tree myself, hewed every log myself, dragged them all here alone by as far away as the outer edge of my 2,000 acre lot. Each board I ripped and planed and fastened using only pegs that I whittled myself in my spare time, there isn’t a single nail in the entire place. It’s was hard to do, but I did it the best way possible!

    I made all the furniture too, and the fireplace is river rock from as far away as fifty miles, just like the front and rear patios and the Olympic sized pool in the back. It’s was hard to do, but I did it the best way possible!

    Let’s go to the 1,000 feet of lake shore I cleared myself, and the 300 foot dock was sure hard to put in, at the end it’s almost 50 feet deep and I had to dig down to bedrock, while holding my breath, man was that hard! It’s was hard to do, but I did it the best way possible!

    You like the canoe and bass boat? I made them myself from the birch trees in my forest. It’s was hard to do, but I did it the best way possible!

    Just then, three little kids scamper by and the husband says to the guy “So not EVERYTHING you do is difficult, is it?”

    Without skipping a beat, the guy answers “Oh them? We did it standing up in the canoe every time...”
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    ”Mercy for the guilty is cruelty to the innocent.” ~ Adam Smith
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